I’ve been a lurker for some time now…but I feel like I had to reach out. My story is that for my whole life, all I’ve ever have been doing was gaining weight, but I never really gave it much thought. It felt normal to me, and I couldn’t “see” myself as fat, because it felt normalized. But as of December 2018, I’ve decided that 250 pounds was enough as I was really heavy, so I went on a “life style change” and hit the gym. Currently I am at 205…but even after losing 45 pounds, I feel worse than before. I do see the changes, the fat loss, but I feel so discouraged that I have much more to go on top of feeling self hatred that I’m this heavy. I feel extremely discouraged despite the results so far, and after “great” gym session, I sit at home and start crying because I feel pathetic and sad.